Oh shit. It looks like a whole bunch of people who were at the party have contracted a disease. It's viral, it can be treated but not cured, the effects are uncomfortable and embarrassing, and it's highly contagious. Even condoms don't stop it from spreading.
Yeah... we've got the flu.
(I am still making it to Dating While Feminist! I may come with an oxygen mask and IV drip, but I'll be there!)